so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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