she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
