The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
