no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
