I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize