i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You ruined the universe
Randomize
