why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
