I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
