I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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