i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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