So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
