normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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