hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize