Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
