It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
being pregnant is like rehab
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
