i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
