We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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