Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
