It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
