she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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