you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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