Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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