Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
