so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
