shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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