the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
