You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
