So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
