She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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