my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
