How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
