my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
