we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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