I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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