he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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