I wish i was in the wii world.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
