remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
