I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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