I'm eating all of the evidence.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
