She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
