He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize