i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
