I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
