suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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