So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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