No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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