He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
