You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
