these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
