i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
