she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
