gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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