who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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