Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
