i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
