And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's great music for shaving your balls
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
