she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this just has baby written all over it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
