I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
