so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
