don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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