All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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