remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
