whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
