in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
whose parrot is this?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
