Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
