How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
