Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
