dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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